SELF PITY HAS NO RECOMMENDATION

Published September 21, 2012 by Miss Pamstar

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Life is tough to everyone

Or so I would like to believe so,

We all have to go through hardships

Some are harder than others

Year by year things get rough or maybe you choose how your life should be like

They say you can choose your friends, but not your family

I say you have a choice who you keep in your life.

Most of my poems are self pity of my life,

Now I’ve realized that

I wonder why now?

I guess it’s true that when you grow older you also grow wiser.

I’m somehow glad

I went through all the hardships 1 did

I acknowledge them

If not me, then who?

I want to accept all of them as blessings not a curse

Believe me when I say it

Self pity has no recommendation!

1 won’t stop writing about my hardships

Cause they made who I am

But 1 won’t let them be stumbling blocks anymore in my life

I’m taking a stand and encouraging all of you who are going through the same

To never let life’s challenges overwhelm you.

Realize that your destination is not your destiny

Live!

Cry!

Hope!

But always remember that Self pity has no recommendation.

It took me 25 years to realize that

But I’m glad ! did

I’ve always known I’m not the only one

But life can hit you so hard and make you believe you are nothing.

I’ve been around, and being around has taught me a lot about life

I don’t know everything there is to know

I’m not that educated

But I’ve got a gift that no one can take away from me

That is I can write, and I’m going to write, unless god decides to take my hands

1 won’t stop writing.

Cause I’ve discovered the secret to live my life better and not care about anyone’s approval.

But all in all

SELF PITY HAS NO RECOMMENDATION!

1 understand that life won’t always give you what you want,

That is why you should go out there and make things happen for you.

A great writer once said

A JOURNEY OF A THOUSAND MILES MUST BEGIN WITH A SINGLE STEP!

So start walking and always remember

There will be hardships but that doesn’t mean you should pity yourself

Coz SELF PITY HAS NO RECOMMENDATION!

BY: PAM

(09.02.2009)

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UNWRAP ME, INDULGE, BUT COVER YOUR TOOLS!

Published September 11, 2012 by Miss Pamstar

ImageThat’s what most women are saying after they have learnt about the myths and facts of lesbian (woman to woman) sex. While most women find out the hard way by being infected or affected by either STI’s or HIV and AIDS. Funny enough others still think woman to woman sex is safe. It bothers me how women whom by nature are declared the most intelligent species still endanger themselves by having unprotected sex.

Sex is a wonderful thing one cannot deny that, and it is more special and significant when you do it with someone you love, but what if you’re faithful and she is not? I know it is one of the questions you try to avoid as much as possible in your head. Fact is there is a possibility in a scale of one to ten that seven go through that. It is either they do not know or they just turning a blind eye to the possibility of being cheated upon by their partners. As painful as that discovery might be, it could be your great escape from STI’s or HIV and AIDS.

I know most of you still believe that woman to woman sex is not safe only when that woman is bisexual or straight, well it is not true. Lesbian women are not safe either. Nonetheless, many of you might want to argue that fact but it really helps to update your IQ with such things that affect our daily lives as women who sleep with other women in the 20th century.

Another thing that caught my attention is how much woman who sleep with other women have lack of knowledge when it comes to barrier methods when engaging in sexual acts. I mean don’t you think there should be more ways to educate about safer sex for women who sleep with women? Gay pride is a one day event and people just want to have fun there, it is always good seeing most you at the stalls to take safer sex packs and pamphlets. Even so, I have to put pressure on the issue of equipping ourselves with knowledge with issues that affect us as lesbians/ women who sleep with other women.

We have LGBT organizations country wide in Johannesburg we have FEW, OUT LGBT Well-being in Pretoria in Hatfield, Durban lesbian and gay centre, Triangle project in Cape Town, SOHACA in Soweto and many more places where you can get more information on safe sex for Lesbians and more services that they offer.

Testing yourself for HIV has nothing to do with your sexual orientation. It is a choice that you make to know your status as a person. By so doing you are taking charge and responsibility of your life and the lives of those you engage with sexually. Knowing your status helps you to protect yourself, partner and your loved ones. It also helps you to look at life at a broader scale and make informed choices about your sexual life. I’m sure we are all aware of the risks of unsafe sex amongst heterosexuals as it is everywhere in the media. Now as the LGBT community we are rather sidelined to be taught about our risks in the media which will hopefully change in the near future. All I’m saying is, women who sleep with other women are at risk of contracting STI’s and HIV and AIDS. The risks might be minimal to those of heterosexuals but they are there. You can get infected through the exchange of virginal fluids, sharing toys (vibrators) and I know how most of you love going down on it (rimming), that too can transmit STI’s or HIV and AIDS so next time you think of engaging in unsafe sex also think about the risks you are taking for just 15minutes of pleasure.

OUT LGBT well-being and many other LGBT NGO’s have safer sex packs that consist of: latex gloves, dental dam, water based lubricant and male condoms for your toys. You can also buy them at selected pharmacies nation wide or get them at selected lesbian and gay clubs for free.

I wish you could have seen some of the facial expressions I got when I spoke to some lesbians about protection; it was as if I’m speaking in tongues. Others seemed interested while others had comments like: “these things kill the mood”, “these things will only cause problems to my relationship in terms of trust” and so forth. Well that may be true to some extent, but think back when condoms were first introduced. People had all kinds of negative comments such as “how can one eat a banana without peeling it?” but look how they got used to them. I guess we can do it too my sisters, lets reduce the growing number of lesbian/ women who sleep with other women who get infected by HIV and AIDS.

Here are some of the symptoms to look out for:

v  Virginal itching or irritation

v  Strong virginal smell

v  Yellow or greenish frothy discharge

v  Frequent urination

v  Thick white discharge

v  Light virginal bleeding

v  Pelvic pains

v  Small painless bumps

If you recognize one or more of the above mentioned symptoms, I’ll advise you to go see a Doctor immediately. We often take these things for granted not realizing the terrible effects they might have on our lives. Over the counter medication and creams are not bad, but it is best to consult a Doctor first so you can know what exactly what to buy.

Now here are some tips to prevent transmission of either STI’s or HIV and AIDS:

v  Abstinence

v  Be faithful

v  Correct use of (dental dams, latex gloves/ finger cots and condoms) all the time when having sex.

v  Tell your partner if you have STI to protect her and yourself from re-infection.

v  Do not have sex if you or your partner are taking any kind of treatment for STI

v  Look for signs and symptoms on you and your partner.

v  Wash your genitals with soap and water before and after sex

v  Always urinate after sex, this may help clean away some germs before they infect you

v  Regular check up (at least twice a year)

Since it is the beginning of the festive season for 2012, start it with a different sexual attitude and protect yourself and your lover from STI and HIV.

Losing a lover …

Published August 28, 2012 by Miss Pamstar

ImageLosing a lover is one of the hardest things I had to go through, being the 1st time it happened is just so draining and so hard. That is mainly the reason of my silence in the blog, hope you have not forgotten about it!

It’s been a rough couple of weeks, my girlfriend in Johannesburg was sick so I managed to get a ticket to go and see her. I was so happy to go and be by her side with the hope that she will get better. I took time off from lectures to go and be there with her. I kept on calling her every chance I got to assure her that I was coming to be with her. She was sounding better every time we spoke on the phone. My flight was leaving at 5 in the evening and I called her on Tuesday to confirm that I had found a flight and I would be there with her ASAP. She sounded happy, we sms’d each other telling each other how much we loved each other, she started confessing about other things. I didn’t mind as I just wanted her in my life, I told her it is okay as long as we were together that’s all that mattered to me. Tuesday evening started packing and I was rather feeling somewhat emotional still and excited as well. So I sat all night watching movies. At around (02:50 15 August)  in the morning I received a call from Lwazi’s mom, telling me that she had died in hospital 😥  I started crying even though I was in denial, my body became numb and I felt so out of place. I cried myself to sleep, woke up early in the morning to prepare for my trip I was still in tears hurting so much I couldn’t even eat. I bought alcohol drowned my sorrows, slept throughout my flight and I got to her house. Her mother and family were there, they comforted me I had to be strong for them, myself and her son. I found myself being put under a microscope by people I thought were my friends, wanting to know why I have a girlfriend in Cape Town when I had Lwazi for almost 3years (I still feel it is non of their business as Lwazi knew about Za and so does Za about Lwazi…) * long story, moving right along* The next day (16/08/2012) we woke up very early in the morning with her mother, brother and the lady who looked after her and her best friend to go and identify her body at the mortuary. She looked so beautiful, her eyes slightly opened it was as if she would call my name 😦 I started crying as I so longed to kiss her, hold her and tell her how much I needed her in my life. I had to be strong. My friends came to support me, messages of comfort were pouring in on my Facebook, BBM, and emails. On Saturday it was the day to go and bath her to prepare her for the funeral the next day. I had spoken to her mom that I wanted to be there, to try and find closure of some sort. We went with her sister and two elders, still she was looking beautiful, her bare body lay there, lifeless, frozen and I looked at her spoke to her wishing she could respond. We dressed her in a beautiful grey dress, I joked with her saying I had never seen her in a dress. She looked pretty good in it :). We went back with her in a coffin I kept looking at it crying… The next day I had to say my last goodbyes to the love of my life in a poem. It was hard, our sons were looking disorientated they are too young to understand what is happening. I was with the little one throughout the service, I felt so connected to him still do. We laid my woman to rest on the 20th of August 2012, we came back and they did a cleansing ceremony and the family insisted I be part of it. Bottom line is Lwazi left me. The strangest thing happened yesterday (22 august) I received a sms from Lwazi, her family denied sending it so I am taking it as Lwazi sent it from heaven. [pic on the phone]. Everyone is shaken by it but me… (23 August 2012) when I woke up I woke up and wished she would visit me in my dream so we can have sex, talk and laugh for the last time I woke up emotional again wishing I could see her 1 last time and talk to her. Now all I do is talk to her whenever I am alone, telling her how much I miss and love her. Now the question is WHERE TO FROM HERE??? 😦

Taken from me

I’m sitting here in my room, looking at your pictures and listening to our songs.

Wondering why you couldn’t be a part of my future.

Uncontrollable tears stream down my face,while my heart beat starts to race.

Asking God why he took you from my life, it was more painful than stabbing me in the heart with a knife.

I still needed you here you were the one to make everything so clear.

You are a part of me and I am a part of youwhen you died a part of me died too.

I never knew how hard it was to loose someone you loveuntil the day you went to heaven above.

Even though I can’t see, I know you are up there watching over me.

I miss you more and more everyday and all I can do is pray.

In my heart you shall forever remain.

I love u Njunju and always will! 

IN MEMORY OF MY LOVER (NOLWAZI MOLOI)

I AM MY OWN WOMAN

Published August 2, 2012 by Miss Pamstar

One of the best aspects about growing older
Is that I also grow wiser.
All my experiences slowly taught me
To make better choices and encourage
Others to do the same.
It gave my spirit depth and made me
A better woman.
I’ve learnt that to gain wisdom
Is a slow and lengthy process.
That is why I am a thinker,
And I don’t simply accept ideologies as truth.
I gather wisdom incrementally
I don’t wait until I reach a crisis point
I listen to wise people.
But still I AM MY OWN WOMAN!

I don’t confuse opinion or intelligence for wisdom,
Because wisdom cannot be acquired from a book
Or those who are opinionated.
I learn it through observing the lives of others
But God is within me;
Giving me the greatest wisdom that no man
Can teach or give me.

I am not my hair or my clothes.
I am Pam one of the strongest woman, who acquired her wisdom from the one above.
I am my own woman – of course with the help from God.
The quest for wisdom
Is littered with other peoples ideas,
And sometimes it is hard to separate
What I believe from what I feel I should believe.
I am not perfect!
That is why I’m fighting that my interior
Be as impressive as my exterior.
I don’t underestimate elders
Coz I know their life’s experiences possess oodles of wisdom.

I know that life is short
One of the reasons I choose to learn from other peoples mistakes
Coz I won’t live long enough to make them all on my own.
I am my own woman
I do learn from my own mistakes as well
I’m wise and I will be wiser if God stays in my heart all the time.
I AM MY OWN WOMAN

LGBT 67 MINUTES OF SHAME (18 JULY)

Published July 14, 2012 by Miss Pamstar

 ImageBack at it yet again another fight for liberation! LGBTI organizations nationwide are going to protest for the rights to non-discrimination based on sexual orientation to remain in the constitution despite Inkosi Phathekile Holomisa’s attempts to get it removed. Furthermore, the recent outbreak in hate crimes directed at LGBTI people. This time we decided to do it a little more drastic than usual, well this time it is to make sure the ANC as the ruling party recognizes and acts on the sudden outburst of homophobic crimes that have erupted in our country yet again. Over the past few weeks the LGBTI community has lost five of its openly out members. There could possibly be more that we are unaware of.  For now, I would like to take this time to extend my condolences to the families of the deceased and I pray that our fallen sisters and brothers’ souls rest in peace. *in tears*

1. Thapelo Makhutle, gay/trans individual from the Northern Cape was killed, his body mutilated and his head almost completely severed from his body;

2. Neil Daniels was stabbed to death and set alight in Cape Town;

3. Phumeza Nkolonzi was shot thrice by a man who burst into her home in Nyanga;

4. Sanna Supa from Braamficherville, Soweto, was also shot thrice in her driveway;

5. Hendrietta Thapelo Morifi, known as Andritha, from Mokopane, Limpopo, was stabbed and her head almost severed from her body. 

The saddest part of all these murders is the fact that the above mentioned individuals were somebody’s child, sister/brother and the perpetrators robbed their families of their loved ones. How do these people live with themselves? From what I can make of these killings, I think the perpetrators are trying to scare the LGBTI community at large and well they may have gotten to some of us pretty badly so. I found myself warning my butch girlfriend to stop shaving her hair and to stop dressing “too butch” whatever that is. Well I have to say I saw so many other butches looking feminine at one of the victim’s funeral (Phumeza Nkolonzi).

 Just to add on that, I am not one to disrespect religion or elders but I have to say this ‘THE PASTOR WAS AN ASS’! Ooops… I hope I don’t get into trouble for that. Anyway, that guy refused to give us (LGBTI) people a chance to sing at the cemetery. Well I don’t know what happened at the church service because I got there late as I had to go collect my pepper spray for safety.  I heard of another misfortune is that one of the lesbian’s cars was broken into. I mean like really now??? Outside the church, wow! These guys are on a mission ya’ll!

So then activists and human rights NGO;s decided it’s time to remind the government of Mandela’s promise of equal rights for all. More especially, section nine of the Bill of Rights of the Constitution of the Republic of South Africa, 1996. Post apartheid era most of us were stuck in the closet because we feared of homosexuality not being legal in South Africa. Then it was legalized and we celebrated as we could not wait to get out of the stuffy closet.  

Stuffy as the closet was, the worst feeling in the world about coming out is to be discriminated and hated by your own family, same racial and religious groups and the government for loving the same sex as you.  I know that feeling too well, and it sucks!!! Media coverage of homosexuality is now wider than ever, still on that I must say Generations (South Africa’s popular series) is really pissing me off these days with this whole nonsense of making the gay guy impregnate a woman. It sends out the wrong message to the public, that homosexual people can turn heterosexual if they sleep with the opposite sex. I feel it gave a rise to the “corrective rapes”. In fact I think I should write a formal complain to the BCCSA (Broadcasting Complains Commission of South Africa). If you with me please do the same!  These hate crimes hurt! And for us to do away with them we need to unite and show all these homophobes that we are not going anywhere! I WILL NOT BE SILENCED!!! So I urge my entire fellow LGBTI people to join the national protest in your respective cities.  While everyone else is celebrating Mandela day and volunteering their 67 minutes to doing good, I will be dedicating my 67 minutes of shame. At the 67 minutes of shame protest for the ANC to speak up for the rights and lives of LGBTI South Africans as well as a remembrance for the lives lost in the last month. Protest to depart from St. George’s Cathedral, Wale Street Cape Town to the ANC offices at the Sahara Building, Thibault Square (Cape Town).

The poem below I wrote it before coming out to my family, and I have to say it was not easy for them but I’m glad they still love me regardless of my homosexuality.

MY PRIDE BY PAMSTAR

Until when will I live in the shadow of heterosexuals?

Until when will I learn to accept my sexuality?

Until when will I be discriminated against?

Until when will I live a lie?

Until when will I hide from my family?

The family that claims to love me,

But will they still do if I come out of the closet?

Questions answered in the mind of mine.

Trembling in the faith of my own submission,

Terrified in my mind for the conduct of my being;

Unplanned for by my own identity,

Identity I wish to reclaim in the eyes of the society.

Unwritten in the holy book people hide behind, at the expense of my homosexuality.

It matters not when you realize it,

Love immeasurable like in john 3:16.

God loves me unconditionally.

When will I be proud of me?

Sentiments I can’t control as the anger of Osama Bin Laden against the USA.

Heavy as gravity,

Bounded by the strategy,

Planted in the ignorance of the society,

 Who believe my homosexuality is a moral infection,

                                            A curse, Satanism or a contagious disease,          

I sit and wonder where my pride is at?

When I constantly live in the darkness of the judgment of men;

Who claim to correct the wrong by abusing me and my fellow lesbians and gays.

Ignoring the fact that Mr. Nelson Mandela and others fought for my rights as well

To be free

Let me be

My pride I fight for to re-live the joys of 1994 when Tata Madiba was voted the first black president of South Africa.

My pride I fight for to live my life uncrucified for being a

LESBIAN!

BUTCH THE NEW CRIME TARGET IN SOUTH AFRICA ???

Published June 29, 2012 by Miss Pamstar

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Today is one of those lazy laid back Fridays, all excited about a colleague’s birthday party in the office and so looking forward to the drinks we planning to have after work. So I decide to leave my feminine look at home and dress more tomboyish to feel comfortable for the party later. With all the hype about what we going to drink and eat I decided to accompany our administrator to buy snacks for the party. On a route we always use with no worries or fear, suddenly today that all changes. Two guys and one woman are standing by the corner they looked shady to a point that I mentioned it to my colleague that we must be alert jokingly. A few steps forward we notice that one of the guys is actually following us. So we panic, hide our phones in our bra’s and start walking fast because the road is just quiet and we are the only people walking there, we say a little prayer (NO WEAPONS FORMED AGAINST US SHALL PROSPER). Luckily people came around the corner and the guy turned away. With great relief we are safe! *sigh*we continue walking to the shop. So I tell my colleague we are not using the same road again so we decided to change routes when going back to the office and use the main road. To our surprise just as we pass the robots on the main road next to the cemetery, the same guys jump out from behind the trees. I froze in shock and my colleague quickly grabbed me by my sweater and pulls me to run to the busiest road cars and taxis coming towards us as we try to escape to the other side by the garage. Again we managed to get away unharmed, still in shock we get to the office and we tell them of what had happened and to warn them to be aware of those thugs.

Later on, we are laughing and talking about our past experiences. As I sit in my desk, my mind can’t stop thinking of what could have happened if those guys got to us. Maybe I’m being paranoid but hey, why today of all the days? The day I am dressed as a tomboy with my pants hanging below my waist and a hoody with boyish looking boots, no make up. I kept pretending I was fine until another colleague notices I am not my bubbly self after the incident and decides to talk to me about it.

I hate feeling like a victim; I am furious that now my party mood has shut down because of those bustards! I am trying to work, but for some weird reason I find myself on Google trying to shop online for a pepper spray and a stun gun. The fucked up part about all of this is the fact that it reminded me of the past events when I was mugged at gun point, when Iwas kicked down and stepped on for being lesbian and the other gruesome crimes that my fellow lesbian butch sisters go through. That reminded me of a piece I wrote four years ago when I was robbed at gunpoint and I thought I should share it with you guys. So I need your help guys, please share your stories and help me decide between the STAN GUN OR THE PEPPER SPRAY!

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SOUTH AFRICA MY BELOVED COUNTRY WITH OUR DIVIDED RAINBOW NATION!

 

So I’ve heard that we are now a rainbow nation

A rainbow has many colors,

What do they really mean?

Freedom was fought for, and we won it somehow

Freedom to what exactly?

They say we are one now

But, I still see a divided country.

Divided in a sense that our fellow brothers are attacking us, raping us, robbing us and our brothers from another mothers are doing nothing to help our skinny terrified asses.

South Africamy beloved country!

Of many races who are supposed to be united

But are not!

Sad truth but our country,

Our freedom,

Our democracy,

 Our brothers who have no respect for women,

 Our divided rainbow nation.

Yeah! What’s all this crap about woman’s rights?

Rights to what exactly?

Rights to be raped,

Robbed at gunpoint,

Abused, or rights to be protected

By who?

The same brothers, who rape, kill, rob and abuse us

In 1976 our brothers and sisters fought, some were killed fighting for freedom.

Freedom to what?

Tell me my African “so called brothers”

Why do you fail to protect us?

Why do you take for granted the democracy fought for so hard?

Why are you dividing our rainbow nation?

Why do you kill, rape, rob, and abuse us?

Apartheid now is back!

Not among races, I’m black and a black brother who should be appreciating my dark beautiful complexion.

Robbed me.

A black brother who should be proud of me for getting my skinny ass up and getting a job.

Violated me.

A black brother who should be protecting me

Abused me emotionally and physically.

While my other “so called”, white, Indian, coloured and other black brothers rolled up the windows of their fancy cars and turned a blind eye.

South African beloved country!

South Africamy divided rainbow nation country!

Why do hurt your own sisters?

Just because I have breasts you me as a target,

Do you really want change? No crime?

Please don’t be ridiculous! I don’t see it happening,

I’ve lost hope.

Why should I vote?

Give me a damn good reason

Vote for what?

Vote for the government who live in fancy houses,

Drive fancy cars and whose kids have personal body guards!

While my skinny ass gets robbed, raped, abused and killed!

My SAP (South African Police) you who should be protecting me,

You tell me to wait!

While you sip on your free coffee paid for by my taxes.

Protect me!

Care for me!

Comfort me!

I’m your sister.

Don’t divide our country even more,

Don’t turn a blind eye when I’m being robbed.

It is your duty to protect me.

You say united we stand, divided we fall!

Well, I guess our country has fallen flat on its ass.

Coz you turned a blind eye when your sister was violated.

You divided our rainbow nation even more!

Are you proud of yourself?

Ya, ne!

Our divided rainbow nation.

Blame us for immigrating!

Complain about the effect it has on your on your economy.

What about the trauma you put us through?

Blame foreigners for coming to your country,

Oooooh! Your precious country!

They work! Not all of them are drug dealers.

I’m sure they protect their sisters,

They are more decent than you!

Hate me for telling the truth, but

Deep down in your hearts (if you have any)

You know I’m right!

South Africamy beloved country

With our divided rainbow nation!

Yes I’m angry!

Yes I’m hurt!

Yes I’m scared!

Yes I’m black and

Yes I’m African

But I’m not proud to be one now.

Ya it’s just a phone, but fact is it was mine!

Brothers I’m hurt!

Have you got anything to say about that?

SOUTH AFRICAMY BELOVED COUNTRY

WITH OUR DIVIDED RAINBOW NATION!

                                                                                                                                                       (25 NOV 2008)

IS THIS HOW WE ARE SUPPOSED TO LIVE?

Published June 28, 2012 by Miss Pamstar

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My heart is torn and tears literally rolling down my face as I’m writing this article; my heart was filled with anger and so much hurt when I watched the documentary on SABC 3 (Sunday, 24 june), (The worst place to be gay in the world). The ignorance and the hatred in the hearts of Ugandans towards homosexuals is despicable to say the least. The fact that they say homosexuals should be killed with a straight face is just pure B S.  Well, the documentary was heart breaking not more than the fact that another Lesbian was attacked in her own home and shot in cold blood for her sexuality. I mean this is just too freaking much, how much more can we live in fear of our lives. South Africa being the most advancing African country with rights for homosexuals yet we still read about our own being killed and raped everyday and nothing is being done about it. *in tears* this breaks my heart so much to think that I just recently relocated to this city with the most homophobic crimes than where I come from.  I keep asking myself what is it exactly that activists are fighting for? I mean I do my bit in fighting for the LGBTI rights to be exercised in our country, but whenever I hear, see and read such dreadful stories about my fellow sisters and brothers being raped and brutally murdered and justice is not done I get pissed off! The fact that after so many years that homosexuality has been acknowledged by the government to be legal and is equally recognized as a constitutional right, but still homosexuals are being mistreated by all, including the government officials. I fail to understand why we are still treated as a separate group yet we are denied separate rights like the fact that “corrective rape” should be acknowledge as a different crime than to be treated the same as the heterosexual rape. This is one of many other equality rights that we are fighting for in our rainbow nation country. The fact that justice is not served quickly to South Africans as it was to the Annie Dewani case raises a question to me, as to why are we South Africans not enjoying our democracy that our South African people fought for? I don’t mean to be political I just want to understand how long are we going to live like this? What have we done so bad to be treated like this?

Maybe we should look at ourselves first, activists do their bit but, what about the rest of the homosexual community? Think about it if we stood together in the fight for our rights maybe, just maybe we could be heard and taken seriously. I feel that heterosexuals are ungrateful beings, as far as their complains are concerned, they still get infected with HIV/AIDS but the governments supply them with free condoms the only thing that comes out of their mouths is “choice (condoms) this, choice that” like really now. They get free education about their sexual behavior in the media. What about us? I know maybe I sound as if I’ve got something against heterosexuals, I don’t know maybe I do I just don’t see it. It might be because most of the crimes directed at homosexuals the perpetrators are heterosexuals. Not that I despise all heterosexuals my family and other friends of mine are straight, I think I have a problem with the ones that are homophobic. This article is not to for me to bitch about heterosexuals; it is just a question I’ve had in my mind that is this how we are supposed to live?

Two weeks before I wrote this article I had a shock of my life and I was disgusted as well. I was with my other “acquaintances” well I call them that because I don’t feel after that conversation they deserve the title of being called my friends. Anyway I was with these girls and we are all proudly out of the closet lesbians as they say it. Apparently there was an email going around of a gay guy who was bashed in some township and the victim dresses as a drag queen, so what happened is the perpetrators beat this guy up and took his wig and they were throwing it amongst themselves and this poor gay guy was sitting down with his high heels in those pictures. What shocked me is the way that these girls I was with were laughing as they were telling this story; I didn’t find any amusement in that I looked at them with fury they asked me if I was okay. I just felt I should give them a piece of my mind and tell them exactly how I felt about that. I nearly cried that day thinking how childish and insensitive of them to laugh at such a horrible thing. I asked them what if one of them could get attacked for being lesbian, will they expect me and other activists to run around to help and support them. I mean obviously I will but at that time I was so angry I couldn’t believe their ignorance.

I thought to myself if we homosexuals find amusement when one of us gets attacked what kind of message are we sending out there to the public? Come on people its emails like those and idiotic comments like the ones they were throwing during the conversation that make the world not to take us seriously. I am a survivor of homophobia, and I am doing my bit to fight it that no one ever has to go through it. What are u doing?

I WILL NOT BE SILENCED!

 

Aluta continua!

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