Published November 2, 2012 by Miss Pamstar

Often we sell ourselves short as homosexuals, not only in love but also in life in general. We tend to let life and love treat us unfairly and we settle for second best. Hoping things will get better in time and that someday we will meet the one who will be ours and ours alone or enjoy our rights and have a better justice system. Perhaps sometime you do have the one, and you are well off but nevertheless we always want life to be hard on us unnecessarily so. We are so used to being oppressed and treated like dirt that we have come to embrace the shame of being inferior.

Slogans and quotes that support homosexuals are always written not only to make us feel good about ourselves, but also to remind us that before our homosexuality we are human regardless of whom we love. In my expedition to finding myself I came to realize that not only me but most of my fellow homosexuals tend to accept mistreatment because we are used to being oppressed. Growing up we are taught of heterosexual’s ways of living, loving and we are forced to believe it is the only normal lifestyle in the world. Truth is it is not. Forget about culture and what the bible says about homosexuality for once let us focus on human sexualities and the way of living in the 21st century. Why is that we are still fighting for homosexual rights in this day and age? Why are we still protesting, feeling the need to educate and campaign to prove ourselves in the world? I mean look at each and everything that is happening around us, it is like we are in some contest to gain approval of our being as homosexuals. Lately we hardly have the time to live and enjoy our lives because we have to live to spare the feelings of others, which by the way I find very monotonous and a complete waste of time.

All over the world people are searching to find peace and a better way of living by being financially stable and build families. We seem to be looking for more than that, not because we are selfish but because we are forced to add a little extra to our baskets of wants. Approval, acceptance, equality and love these are just a few, but it becomes ridiculous when we have to seek these in our own community. The constant fighting, looking each other down, cheating, and competing amongst ourselves has to end. Yes it is human nature to be competitive but why do it to each other, cant we at least get along? The division we have created has grown so deep that we have become the laughing stock in the world, even the government sees no point in granting us the freedom we deserve because of the way we behave. We have become our own enemies in the struggle, and losing the purpose of the fight that Simon Nkoli, Bev Ditsi and others have stood up for.

What happened to the love, passion and oneness that have been shown by our protagonists have shown for us to enjoy the better few fruits of their hard work? Is the way we are doing things now a thank you to them or just a spit in their faces? What happened to unity? The race card has been overplayed and it should not be allowed to qualify anymore in our poker table. Shouldn’t we rather channel our energies into something positive like empowering one another and becoming one since we belong to the same subculture?

Some people have it easy and others don’t, the trick is to never lose you along the way. My articles have been criticized and harshly so, but I have never used that to give up and throw in the towel. One thing I have discovered about homosexuals is that we are weak and we live our lives for other people and not for us. We allow the judgments posed at us to break us and we surrender to defeat way before the battle is over. We are our worst oppressors and unless we admit that and change our mindsets we are FUCKED, and that is the UGLY TRUTH!


3 comments on “THE UGLY TRUTH

  • Nice piece indeed. I agree that the homosexual community on average doesn’t have the same level of self-confidence and self-worth than our heterosexual counterparts. It isn’t helpful that we are stuck in a cycle of being oppressed and oppressing ourselves. I believe that we have much to learn as a community. We will make mistakes. They should be pointed out and criticised. More importantly, when we do make mistakes and divisions are made clear.we should work through them and not around them. We should take it as a challenge for us to exchange in dialogue. In so doing we’ll increase our potential as community, grow stronger and unite.

    Many thanks for the piece, Pam

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